Yes, I know! Sometimes talking positively with our children is very hard, particularly after a tough day.

But remember that we are the adults, and of course we can do it. We can control ourselves and look after the good of the others.

When a couple has a conflict, the best way to solve it is talking as adults, without shouts or disrespect… The same is true with children: they understand better if we explain them why what they have done was bad, or why acting correctly is necessary.

Furthermore, it is not about scolding the children because they do not act as we want them to. Rather, it is necessary to help them to be what they can come to be. That is, every child is different and has different virtues and opportunity fields (commonly called “defects”). We, as parents, are responsible to make sure that they grow up as they are, but as well as they can…

For this purpose, it is required that we know well our children, we  accept them and we love them, thus becoming their guides to let them develop all their abilities and learn how to share them with others, because at the end of the day, this is what our abilities are meant for: to share them with others.

Then if, for instance, one of our children acts wrongly hitting his/her sibling, or failing to study, or talking back to us in a very aggressive way, besides explaining him/her that what he/she is doing is not correct because it takes him/her away from happiness and from search for perfection, and not only that but he/she hurts other with such an attitude, …he/she must learn a lesson. Sometimes the life itself inflicts us lessons; but when, as parents, we see that our child has not become aware of his/her fault, then we get into the picture to help him/her…and the result of this action should not be void or meaningless. It must have a consequence from which he/she will learn how to give a better treatment to others… He/she can, for instance, write a letter to his brother listing all those things he/she likes about him…Or he/she can treat him to go out somewhere, if they are old enough… Anyhow, as parents, we sometimes have better ideas than those found in the whole Internet. The idea is to realize that, upon this lesson, our child will truly improve, and he/she will understand why what he/she did was not right.

There are new “educational” trends where we are told not to tell them anything…to let them act and not to traumatize them. Yes, it is true that we must not spank them or mistreat them, but there is neither a reason for us to evade the problem and thinking that everything is OK to avoid problems with our children…The situation must be faced and really analyzed it to help them go ahead.  If we don’t demand from them and don’t help them, nobody will do. The other people will be too smooth and, if they dislike something about them they will simply get away from them… We, as parents, will never get away from them. We will help them with love, positively, with a demanding and firm attitude, with limits and flexibility. Always thinking about their good before ours, always trying to make them good persons.

So, the next time our kid makes us lose our temper, let us truly count up to ten, let us get out for a breath and let us find a good solution to help him/her to improve