“I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life”.
Really? Are you sure? Because now, I’m afraid, I look all around and I realize that a lot of people are breaking their promises…
What will happen if you really get sick… Maybe a flu is okay, I will take care of you… A cancer? Well … Ok, I will be with you… And if I have always headaches?… Every day?… Mmmm… Well I’ll try… Just, please don’t be so whiny…
And if I get sick of my mind?… If suddenly get depressed?… Oh! Wait wait! I don’t know!… This is hard… Stay with you if you start crying for everything?… And if you want to kill yourself?… Oh no… This is different! I really don’t know! This is different…
And if I get sick of my soul? If I start doing bad things to you? You know… Like being sad, or mad, or not thinking about you.. If I liked to be somewhere else, but not with my family?… If I commit a lot of mistakes?… If I start acting like a fool!?… And if a get grinch with you because I don’t want to be an adult?… If I have a crisis in my life?… Will you be with me?… Will you help me to get out of that crisis and will you rescue my soul?
Hard, eh?… Yes, this is the kind of problems that are breaking marriages these days… We don’t know how to help our partner… We don’t know how to understand their crises and theirs mistakes…
Because maybe we really think that we will live happily ever after …. happily ever after…
It’s true… In our marriage we will have moments of happiness. A lot of moments of happiness. But also we will have crises, sorrows, problems, a lot of sadness moments… And maybe we want to turn off the lights, stop the world and go to another planet…
We will have a lot of arguments, fights! But we know that we married with this person because we loved her/him! No one forced us with a gun to made this promise! No one!!! We knew this person before we married! We knew her/his positive and negative things… And now, in the difficult times… We decide to take another train in our life… Because we want to be happy, because we want to have a life…
I know… There are moments where there is not a chance…. And we can’t fight anymore, because the other person just surrendered… Now there is just one person fighting, then we can’t do anything..
This is sad…It is sad when one of the couple wants to save the marriage, but the other person is not interested. Maybe the other person wants to quit: it’s over, this is the end… And we can’t do anymore… Because it’s true… We can’t be better if we don’t want to be better …
Please… Before we make a commitment… We need to think about it: we need to realize that this kind of promises are serious! It’s a commitment!! Then we have two options:, either we fight or we lose! And we lose all our dreams…our projects,… our families,… our fights,… and our lives….
We need to be brave! We need not to be afraid of living our lives, of loving, of suffering… Of having fun and not having fun, of having moments of happiness and sadness, of being happy and not…
We need to remember that our mission in the marriage is to help our partner to be a better person… And yes, this is difficult, because sometimes we will be tired; sometimes we will need help at the same time the other needs our help. But I know, that if we put love, we can help, if we understand that the good times are different from the bad times… We will understand that we are in the middle of the battle, and then we need to remember that we make a promise that we will be there all the days of our lives…